Searching for Black Jesus

I’ve been sitting on my hands all month going back and forth over whether I should write this or not. My dad told me not to do it, but happenings in the last few days have said that I need to do it. I swear since Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. took us to the top of that mountain and snuck a peek at the “Promised Land”, Black folks have been looking for someone to bring us down that side of the mountain. Black Jesus if you will, if Dr. King brought us up the ‘rough side of the mountain’, there should’ve been someone to shepherd us down and into salvation.

It seems as if people have placed their bets on Senator Barack Obama to be that man and he’s become some sort of mythic figure in the community, so sacred that he is beyond reproach or criticism. Keep in mind that Senator Obama is a political animal running for the highest office in the land and he will do what he needs to do to win the Electoral College. Even if that means turning his back on the man that led him into Christ. Over the past few months, Obama’s membership at the Trinity Church in Chicago has come under fire as its outgoing minister has come under fire for sermons he’s made over the years. Sound bites of which have been popping up all over the internet and on Fox News as well.

Reverend Jeremiah Wright delivered two televised speeches within the last few days touching on the media’s penchant for labeling him as divisive, when he’s merely being descriptive as he says, yet Barack has gone on the record saying that he is outraged and appalled at the comments Rev. Wright has made and their relationship may be irreparable. Nigga please! You sat in those pews for 14 years before you were a Presidential hopeful and soaked in every word and dropped an “amen” every now and again and “that’s right Pastor” when you felt it. Now, you turn your back on him? You’re the worst kind of Nigga; actually, you’re a Negro now!

All of this leads me to something that has been eating at me for quite some time. When was the last time you visited a church? I say visit, because I know most of you don’t go too often (I know the seven of you who do). At any point during the sermon, did you feel compelled to go on and give it all to the God? Feel like just turning your life over to Jesus? No? Then the preacher didn’t do his job! The choir neither! That Word is supposed to stir up something within your soul so deep that you’re ready o change your life (until you realize just how much fun you can possibly miss out on).

But that’s the problem with the Black Church as an institution, there’s been a paradigm shift, prophets have started to turn too much of a profit. Preachers are running around preaching the gospel of Prosperity. Way too many mega-churches out there! I’m not talking about Puffy’s preacher, that Nigga with the Phantom and the diamonds. There’s a mega-church down the street from you, where some wolf in sheep’s clothing is driving a Bentley or has three Mercedes-Benzes, yall just got a new church built, but there’s still a collection plate going around for the “building fund”! Speaking about prosperity, when half of the congregation is on a payment plan with PSE&G to cope with their new rates! They are leading the flock to the slaughter!

I remember a long, long time ago when I used to go to church. I really don’t remember why I stopped going, probably had something to do with the NBA playing their games earlier on Sunday. But Rev. Lattimore (I’m old school Rose of Sharon yall!) was such a quiet man, yet when he stood before that church, so much force and might came roaring through that microphone. It had no choice but to move you. See, I knew that when Pastor Lattimore took his robe off on Sunday, his ministry didn’t stop there; I’m not talking about because he led Bible Study on Wednesday night either. I’m saying because he was an educator, a philanthropist, he had been an advocate for Civil Rights; he holistically cared about the community in which held his churches’ roots.

Look back over our history; the church has been at the forefront of nearly every movement and noticeable change in our plight. Harriet Tubman freed slaves with a shotgun in one hand and a Bible in the other. Nat Turner was a preacher! It is Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Minister Malcolm X, I don’t always ride with him, but he is Reverend Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton is just another Nigga with a perm calling himself a Reverend. The mission of the church is serving as a place of healing for the members of its congregation and the community in which it is housed and its members live. The Church should be on the frontline of every fight! Poor school systems, gang violence, drugs,homeslessness, AIDS, Elder care, all of them! Every church in Plainfield should be organizing a march to have it’s say on the imminent closing of Muhlenberg Hospital. Maybe too many people are too busy getting paid to look around and see what’s happening.

I text quite the few of you who go to church on select Sundays and ask what was the Word that day, not that I’m being funny, but I really want to know. I want to know if you go into church and disappear into some fantasy world, where prayer automatically equals salvation and it’s going to get you home? Or if your minister said something similar to, “Niggas is gon’ be Niggas, so you might as well get this money!” Rather than give you a Word to help rebuild your spirit to go back through those doors and deal with a world of escalating prices of gas and food, decaying school systems and morals that are bordering on misfit levels.

This is all Rev. Jeremiah Wright is doing. Take a moment, go to CNN.com, go to YouTube and listen to an entire speech, see just how relevant it is. Go to pbs.com and download the Bill Moyers Report and watch the interview. See for yourself that he’s simply speaking truth and if the Church can’t speak the truth, what good is it?

Read More

An Insomniac’s Diary

Let me repeat what has become a weekly adage, I hate Tuesday! I hate it even more after sleeping two hours! The insomniac is back! That's actually how this whole thing got started.
 
Back in the second half of 2005, I was having the damndest time going to sleep. I would lie in bed, mind racing, watching TV, watching movies, reading and not fall asleep. Then I'd get up, travel down to the basement and surf the net for hours, researching things I had curiosities about, reading the news, and downloading music, whatever.
 
This after I worked a full day, ran the streets and whatnot. Charlie's Angels was rocking then, so the crew and I were in there making it do what we do. I was very single at the time, so I had a rotation as deep as the Showtime Lakers. Yet, when it all slowed down, I was still wired! I'm talking two, three, and four in the morning. So one night I'm up watching BET Uncut and a gang of thoughts ran through my head, so I started typing. It became a nightly ritual, I was still getting a few hours of sleep, but I was being someone productive, writing 'Memoirs of an Insomniac', which evolved into 'The World According to Teef', where I started to articulate the world from my point of view or as the tag says, a real Nigga's perspective. 

They are just my thoughts ladies and gentlemen, not right or wrong, just what goes through my head. I make some statements that are shrouded in hyperbole, but for the most part, they are my true feelings about the issues. So as I was sitting in the crib dreaming about Lear Jets and Coupes, the way Salt shoops and how to sell records like Snoop, oops. My bad Biggie, but I lay there last night thinking about when Jesse & Angie got back on All My Children, if the Lakers will win the title, can Barack really win, why does the media keep messing with Jeremiah Wright and aside from the half billion dollars, what does Beyonce see in Jay-Z? I realized I had nothing to talk about today!

Read More

End of Days

I know some folks were waiting for my response to the verdict and though I was at a conference, I posted something directly to the online blog and e-mailed it out to you yesterday, don't overlook that. No I don't have black on today! You Negroes kill me with that! Like wearing black is some sort of a protest, we ain't going to a funeral today, let's kick up some dust, let's get out and vote, let's march, let's make sure our babies can read! The Sean Bell tragedy took an ugly turn with the acquittal of the police officers who fired the shots, but there has to be a more effective way for folk to display their disgust with the "in"justice system. Follow Al Sharpton's lead if you want, I'm thinking of a master plan!

Women are crazy, no other way to put it. I get home last night and my ex-girlfriend is in the bathroom blow drying her hair. I look around and I see all of her stuff has made a miraculous return. Then, she asks can she stay for a few months? Yall know me, here today, 50/50 chance she'll be gone tomorrow!

Read More

The Fire This Time

“Only in Cali/Where we riot, not rally…”
2Pac
I write this with the heaviest heart ever. I write this knowing that my human value as a Black Man means nothing in the eyes of the law, the government and the media. I write this with my veins full of anger and outrage that a judge can rule that there was no wrongdoing in a case where police officers Pigs kill a Black Man who was unarmed. I write this in a ball of confusion knowing that eyewitness testimony is hollow if the witness has had previous convictions. I write this perplexed at that blind bitch justice, who obviously is peeking through her blindfold. I write this dumbfounded that 50 shots at any target can be justified in anyone’s eyes.

The three police officers Pigs who killed Sean Bell after his bachelor party and hours before his wedding were just acquitted of the manslaughter, assault and reckless endangerment charges they faced. Nicole Paultre Bell left the courtroom as the verdict was being read, saying “I’ve got to get out of here,” as she left. People scrambled in and outside of the courtroom, scuffled outside, the media stoked the burning anger and people everywhere had to hang their heads as justice again prevailed against a person of color.

A strange irony in my receiving this news is that I was notified of the verdict while attending a conference aimed at giving young, Black Men employable skills and providing them with the tools to navigate this world. I was next to Baruti Kafele when he received a text message and looked over to me and said that cops were acquitted. I quickly went to CNN.com on my cell phone and confirmed the news; we looked at each other, nodded and shrugged. That kind of defeated shrug that says, “They did it again.”

My eyes swelled with tears as I thought that we are still three-fifths of a man by de facto law. I hurt for the unwed bride who changed her name days after her love’s death, who will go to bed tonight with the pain so fresh in her heart. I wanted to weep for their two children who will never see their father again and how it will be years before they understand what happened today. I’m still trying to wrap my head around how one person can fire 31 shots at a target whose only crime to that point had been trying to escape the guys who may or may not have identified themselves as cops. That means he emptied his clip, reloaded and then nearly emptied it again! I was shocked and dismayed that Al Sharpton called for calm at a time when there needs to be an uprising.

All of these emotions ran through my body as I listened to a group of young men aged 11-14 sing a South African song with the lyrics, “…please remember me”. I wiped a few tears away as I realized that these youngsters with God’s gift of an angelic voice will one day be subjected to police Pigs saying they fit the description, plunging their rectal cavity, firing 41 shots as they retrieve their wallet or 50 shots as they attempt to drive in fear.

I am in no way an advocate of violence…yet rebellion in the face of injustice; I will ride and die with. The boiling over of years of frustration and anger of those on the lower rung of society needs to manifest itself in a cataclysmic demonstration that cannot be denied. The revolution must be televised! And podcasted, e-mailed, covered by the major newspapers and on your FM dial!

The fire this time should burn in Queens, Harlem, Brooklyn, on Long Island and Staten Island! The fire this time should burn in Newark, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, Memphis, Houston, Trenton, Miami, Atlanta, Washington D.C., Plainfield, Chicago, Denver, Houston, Oakland, New Orleans, Houston, Richmond, Baltimore, Charlotte, Birmingham, Little Rock, Cleveland, Milwaukee, Newport News, St. Louis, and Cincinnati. Hell, the fire this time should burn in Manhattan! It should burn where they shop, where they work, where the money is made, where the laws are passed!

The fire this time should burn in your favorite rapper! The fire this time should burn in actors, athletes, and singers! The fire this time should burn on college campuses! The fire this time should burn in Presidential hopefuls! The fire this time should burn in your church! The fire this time should burn on the front page of your favorite newspaper! The fire this time should burn in Spike Lee, Chuck D. and Danny Glover! The fire this time should burn in H. Rap Brown, Geronimo Pratt, Bobby Seale and Angela Davis! The fire this time should burn in you, because it damn sure burns in me!

Read More

Rapid Refund

I’m headed to H&R Block! They gave Wesley Snipes for three misdemeanor charges! Well, I guess failing to file tax returns on nearly $40 million in taxes is of the strongest misdemeanors around. The prosecutors in his case made sure that an example was set by pressing for the maximum penalty on his conviction. I wonder just how much of that had to do with his skin color? Then again, Wesley was funneling money to Switzerland, Antigua, and some Island named Man. The government was clearly trying to send a message to all of those who believe that paying taxes is unconstitutional or those who just choose to make an attempt at defrauding the government out of what they are due.
As a fellow non-tax filer, I feel for Wesley, hell he did make a $5 million dollar down payment on restitution. Albeit, we’re playing between huge differences in zeroes, I don’t have any ideological reason for not filing taxes. That is, aside from the fact that the government and I pass a few dollars back and forth each year and I don’t have nearly the type of money that they will prosecute me on. Hmmm, I think I need to file a return; I’m not exactly the government’s #1 fan. Auntie C, you think Troy has the time to work on my 2006 and 2007 taxes?

Read More

Duck Season

Remember that bit with Daffy Duck & Bugs Bunny? It's Duck Season, no it's Rabbit Season, Duck Season, Rabbit Season! It is definitely some type of season. We know it's mating season, but 'tis the season for splitting up too!

Swizz Beats and Mashonda are heading towards divorce (yawn!), Kanye West called off his engagement (ok...), but Star Jones filed for divorce from Al Reynolds. That could be the most interesting development so far this year, because of all the rumors saying Al was a "switch hitter" when they got married. No, not Eddie Murray style switch-hitting, Eddie Murphy style! I'm waiting for the tabloids to get going on this. I know Mediatakeout.com will have tons of lies floating around.

80 degrees today huh? Don't forget the rules!

So today is Take Your Child to Work Day, companies need to set some rules for this. Actually, people need to use their common sense a little bit today. If you know your child is crazy, please don't take them to work with you. Don't have your son or daughter just running through the cubicles on a sugar rush, knocking papers down, and making copies of their hands. You know your baby has ADHD and you got them all up your supervisor's face. Don't get fired! Take Your Child to Work Day doesn't include bringing your 24 year-old, shiftless son to work with you because you're trying to get him a job as security!

Oh yeah, Hillary won Pennsylvania handily…

Read More

Life Is A Song Worth Singing

Teddy P. never lied! Have you ever heard a song and it speaks directly to your experience. It seems as if the lyrics were plucked from your life? I was wondering if I there was a soundtrack to my life what would it sound like? With all of the craziness that makes udp my life, I could probably fill up an 80gb IPod to score my life. No idea what I'm talking about? I'm speaking about those songs that you sing when you get in the shower. Have you ever wonder why they pop into your head then? Those are the songs that ruminate in your soul.I got in the shower this morning and the first thing that came to mind is out Hump Day Song of the Week. I'm not quite sure why, but it's just one of those emotions I go through from time to time, Teddy Pendergrass "Love T.K.O."...

Read More

Tales of the Tuesday Nothing

I swear Tuesday should be abolished! Wiped off the calendar! The week should go Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, etc… Tuesday is useless, all it does is remind you that yesterday was Monday and Friday is still a while to go.

Well, not this Tuesday. By the end of the day we should have a clearer picture of who the Democratic nominee for President is going to be, as Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama finally have their showdown in Pennsylvania. Pennsylvanians will finally have their say after the smear tactics and Rocky references, endorsements by Black mayors, the gauntlet laid down by the Governor. Barack has just brushed it all of his shoulders like a true pimp and here we stand.



However, don’t be surprised if you wake up and think you’re in a time warp back to the year 2000 and there’s some sort of controversy surrounding the decision. They don’t always play by the rules. So, I guess Tuesdays have some importance…every four years. Well, let me get out of the house, I have a Tuesday that probably won’t end until after 8pm.

Read More

There Will Be Blood: The Spring Fever Edition

We've had a pretty good stretch of nice weather, so I figured it was time to get some of the rules out, so people knew how to deal with what is commonly known as "Spring Fever". For those of you who don't know, "Spring Fever" is a condition caused by the break in weather. You know, when it gets nice and people start to act a little crazier than normal. Here we go…

• Just because the weather has changed, a few warm days here and there, that doesn't mean for you to start taking half-days at work. PSE&G still must be paid!
  
• Fellas, A-Shirts or "Wife beaters" are not outerwear…unless you have some rocks in your sock or you're walking a pit bull! They are not a good look for running to Walmart.
  
• Ladies, Fellas and those who aren't sure just what the hell you are, if you plan on showing your feet, keep your toes done!
  
• And for Pete's sake, keep your feet moisturized!
  
• For real, you're like 30, 35 stop going to Miami for Memorial Day Weekend! Let the 22 year-olds have that. You have a 401K you don't need to be anywhere that four, five hundred people get locked up every year! That is your retirement fund, not bail money, get to The Bahamas or something!
  
• Same thing goes for Black Bike Week! Motorcycles haven't changed in years, ain't nothing new happening!
  
• If you still live in the Hood, near the Hood or go to the Hood for a fish samich, stay low, Dey Shootin'! 50 Cent told you that being hot outside was a good enough reason to shoot a nigga!
  
• Keep an eye out for your six-week notice! That's when your man or lady starts acting a fool because they want to be free for the summer!
  
• Ladies, please, please, please keep your underarms shaved!
  
• Cooking out on your porch on Tuesday is never a good look!
  
• Check out the Tribeca Film Festival, it kicks off this week!
  
• If you're getting married, "No One" by Alicia Keys is not a good look for your wedding song!
  

These are just a few guidelines for the Spring, Summer is a whole different set of rules!

Read More

Just Asking…

When did going to Old Country Buffet become Sunday Dinner?

Read More

Music In My Mind…

Did you happen to see the Bernard Hopkins/Joe Calzaghe fight last night? Damn the fact that the "White Boy" beat Hopkins, Ray-J sang the National Anthem! No, no, no, damn that! Ray-J sang the anthem with Whitney Houston sitting ringside! What is she thinking? Never mind, I saw the DVD. But what was he thinking, actually trying to sing? Then, they had the nerve to say he had the #1 R&B album in the country, after selling like 55,000 copies in the first week. All of that changes this week when Mariah Carey's album hits the chart and sells like 600K, knocking everything out of the box.

After 8 long months, countless pleas for an early release, days in confinement and hundreds of shout outs on the radio, Foxy Brown was released from prison Friday. Of course her mama was there, management of course, some fans, but her make-up artist and stylist? I know she was tore down! Word is she has an album coming out in three weeks. That's crazy, she was in prison for nearly a year and has an album coming out before she even goes to see her PO, but I've been waiting for new albums from Maxwell and D'Angelo for years…

This whole music thing is jacked up! People running around thinking that Lil' Wayne is the best rapper alive! Puffy has to have a reality show to have a marginally successful act. T-Pain has channeled Roger Troutman; Snoop Dogg & Weezy have followed. Omarion got dropped from his label, R. Kelly's running out of album titles (12 Play: Fourth Quarter???), Erykah Badu is just chanting on her new album and white boys got soul! Not to mention Ray-J had the #1 (well #4 overall) album in the land. Damn I miss Ol' Dirty Bastard!

Read More

Use Your Vowels, El-e-va-tor!

.read to all for response your publish to me for is want you thing last ,me at holla you before word every in take ,favor a yourself do So .daily used grammar poor the of most reinforces actually ,reader the challenges doesn't language the ,Baldwin of blood the by and there out genre provoking thought most the not is it ;Lit Urban of fan of not am I why wonder folks Then .do I what do to me for important so is it why and people some failed has system school public the much how realize I that moments exact those at it's ,Yet .times at fun for mean be to like I and guy nice a not really I'm that mind in Keep .respond to want I how and if decide then and about talking is person the hell what decipher to try to have I ,errors grammatical dozen two the through get I once that responses written poorly through steer to forced I'm Then

Do you read these or just skim through them?

.read you thought you what by skewed is response your then and about talked being what's to pertinent information other ,details supporting the ,topic the of meat the miss You .much so on out miss you ,it of gist the get to trying just something through breeze you If !it cut doesn't it call you whatever ,skimming ,reading Speed .understanding or comprehension for read don't people , is it what realized I then but ,views my articulating job bad a doing was I because was it thought I .topic my to relation in base off way is person the or saying is person the that things the of some say I did when just out figure to trying I'm and it read I .me throws totally just that response a get I while a in once Every

 

 

 

Read More

Drum Major Hustle

I can talk about how bad I think Tyler Perry's movies and plays are, but one thing is for sure, I can't knock the man's hustle! He's turned his series of recurring themes into a virtual goldmine. He's hustled film companies into great distribution deals, full DVD proceeds, got TBS to give him $200 million for 100 episodes of one of the worst TV shows ever and still keeps his operating budget around $6 million per film.


How has he done it? He's leveraged the fact that Negroes are starving for mindless entertainment and he is the Drum Major leading folks to theaters and television sets. So, the film companies and TBS throw money at him because he makes them money, because you make him money! Tyler Perry is the best pimp since Goldie! Nigga can you buy that?!?

Read More

Everything Must Complement the Feng Shui

From the outside looking in, my life seems like it's out of control to most, but there's an order, a balance to this organized chaos which I live. I can't divulge all of my secrets, but I can tell you that everything must complement the Feng Shui. I don't do a whole lot that I don't dig. If I don't feel it, I don't feel it and if I don't feel it, I ain't doing it. Point blank. My theory of Feng Shui goes as follows: the people in your life have to have parts of your personality or similar interests. In the least, we have to be able to vibe on the most minimal item in my hierarchy of needs. I'm saying, if I eat fried chicken four times a week and you're pulling the skin off of your baked chicken, we ain't gonna kick it too long.

My boy wanted to hook me up with a young lady that he thought was a good fit for me. That is, until he was kicking it with her and her friends and found out that none of them watched 'The Wire'. Three Black women in their mid to late twenties that don't watch 'The Wire', all friends, all in the same room? That should be impossible or illegal, it's definitely illogical. How can she and I connect? How deep can we go? If you don't watch "The Wire', 'The Boondocks', or like the Lakers, we're doomed for failure. Hell, you don't even have to like the Lakers; you can hate on Kobe all game, but if you don't even want to watch the game with, kick rocks!

Now most of this is hyperbole, but the premise is the same, you have to be into at least 75% of what I am. If not, what are we basing the relationship on? I think people really need to examine just how well someone fits into their life before committing to be with them. If your man or your lady gets really high and you don't, how long is that relationship going to go? Bobby and Whitney smoked crack together for 14 years, they could've had it all if someone didn't have to make some money every two or three years.

How many times have you heard someone say they were bored in a relationship? After the love, what did they have? She goes to art shows with her girls, is in a book club, takes the kids everywhere they need to be and he sits on the couch watching SportsCenter drinking Hennessey all night..Duh! Not saying that everyone you kick it with or gets in a relationship needs to be identical, but the people around you should complement you, not be total departures of your personality. You know be the yin to your yang. You know what I'm saying? If yall are out and you're drinking Hennessey and he's trying to figure out if the iced tea is sweetened???

My point is if there aren't many shared interests, there is always someone out there with similar interests that just may be more appealing when that boredom creeps in. The last thing you want to see is your significant other's MySpace page filled with a bunch of people you don't know and they all have on Kobe Bryant jerseys!

Read More

This Can’t Be Right, There’s Gotta Be More…

I had something prepared for today, but that will have to wait, maybe later today or some time in the coming days. Sometimes you just have to go with what moves you in a certain direction. I had a fairly quiet evening yesterday; I had dinner, lounged on the couch, watched "Kill Bill Vol.1", took a bath and then fell asleep around 10:30. At lose to 11, I got a call from a colleague friend, and he told me that his wife had lost her battle with cancer. A battle that had lasted only 7 or 8 months. He went on to tell me about another friend who lost his father earlier in the day, a former Science teacher at Plainfield High. Earlier that afternoon, was told someone I had known for 20 years, graduated high school with and lived next door to for a few years was found murdered. Death really comes in threes.

At that moment I realized just how small the world is. How everything going on right now is so minute to these families. The War, the election, a recession, gas prices. None of it compares to the pain their feeling right now. I'm pretty sure they are questioning God's logic right now, wondering why them, how could he take their loved ones. Those questions will never be answered.

I heard the tears in my friend's voice as he told me how he was trying to explain to his two young children through dinosaur books that their mother had gone to be with God. I heard the anguish when he asked me what he was going to do without his wife. I fought back tears as all I could come up with was, "You're going to live, you're going to be strong and raise those babies." How do you explain to a four-year old and a two-year old that they will never see their mother again? We talked for twenty minutes and some of that pain turned into laughs, but I could barely crack a smile.

I thought about how these three families are trying to cope today with the loss of a loved one, thought about everyone across the world dealing with the same pressure and it all seemed so simple, none of this really matters, the only thing that's real in your life is love. I know its Hump Day and I may have dropped the spirits of a few of you today, I'm sorry, but it wouldn't have been real if I didn't speak what was on my heart today.

Read More

Even Though What We Do Is Wrong

Ignorant (adj)

1. Without education or knowledge
   
2. Exhibiting lack of education or knowledge
   
3. Unaware or uniformed: ignorant of what had happened
   

   
    

Ignorant Shit (adj) – Knowing better and still being ignorant

 

    Yall know it's a lot of ignorant shit going on out there. If you're not quite sure how to define exactly what "ignorant shit" is, use the following text as a guide. Arguing with your baby father on your chirp anywhere publicly is some ignorant shit. Actually, having a chirp for anything non-work related is some ignorant shit. You walking through Shop-Rite and someone busts out of nowhere suddenly like "Yo, you got more of that weed we smoked last night?" All the while you're talking to your pastor…ignorant shit!

 

If you're fortunate enough to have a home with a nice-sized basement and you have the money to remodel it into a very comfortable living space, really make it sharp, great! You know, carpet the floor or lay some nice tile, put a flat-screen TV, surround sound, the works! Every man's dream! But building a full bar, adding tables and turning your basement into the nightspot is some ignorant shit!

 

No, I'm not talking about just a spot to have your boys over to watch the game or the fight; I'm saying you are the official after-hours spot! Got people trampling through your crib until 5am, going through your living room, kitchen and everything! Got Old Negro Spiritual women looking like Dorothy Height sitting in the living room reading the Bible and yall serving liquor a few feet beneath her. Got a special doorbell that rings only in the basement. At least create a special entrance that goes straight to the basement! Ignorant shit!

 

Ladies, you really can't bring dudes back to the crib for whatever, if you got a dude that you're dealing with that just show up without calling. At least until like 1am or call him first to see what's going down, leave him a message that you're taking it down for the night. Yall can't be having fellas chilling all unsuspectingly and then your main dude pops up, with one way in and out, that's how Erick Sermon got all jammed up! Say it with me people, ignorant shit!

 

I'm going to come back to this issue at some point, but Black Folk spewing hate at Tavis Smiley because he has openly challenged people to look deeply into Barack Obama's campaign for the White House and hasn't openly embraced Obama for President, that's some ignorant shit!

Read More

From The Random Portion Of My Brain...

Have you realized how many bad Black movies Vivica A. Fox has starred in? Booty Call, Juwanna Mann, Kingdom Come, Two Can Play That Game, Three Can Play That Game, Four Can Too! We're not even going to bring up her straight-to-DVD films. But it's safe to say, if Vivica is starring in the movie, you can sit that one out. Too bad she costs too much for Tyler Perry...

Read More

What Had Happened Was…

Don't you just know that you're in for some wild tale of adventure and mishaps when someone begins an explanation with "What had happened was…" Not saying it's always going to be a lie, but 80% of the time, prepare for an onslaught of BS!

It was 70 degrees here in Jersey yesterday, but you would've sworn it was hotter than July! Negroes were out with cutoff sleeves, women had their best cookout outfits on, white folks were tanning and Mexicans were drinking Coronas with their shirts off! Everywhere I went, there were tons of people out, trying to partake in the taste of spring that we had yesterday. Now put your rain boots on, it's supposed to storm this weekend.

Who knew the Church of Latter Day Saints were freaks? Someone send R. Kelly a pamphlet. Polygamy, pedophilia, sadomasochism, all under the guise of religion. Be leery of false idols. I suppose when hope floats away and despair is a 600lb monkey on your back, folks can be led in any direction.

Get ready! Get ready! Get ready!

That's all I got for today! What had happened was, somehow we ended up celebrating my boy's divorce and it got ugly!

Get ready! Get ready! Get ready!

Enjoy your weekend!

Read More

Oops! I Did it Again!

If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don’t want to hear.


George Orwell

I admit, that whole "liquor whore" thing was a tad too much. Me and my big mouth! The response wasn't all crazy yesterday, there were a few women who identified with where I was coming from on the whole drink thing. Yet, quite a few were defiant in their right to receive a drink as a precursor to conversation. I was even read the riot act once or twice...funny that only a few people chose to comment on the dating aspect.

So, here's my apology. I apologize to all of the low-cut, cleavage revealing, tight pants wearing women who sit at the bar waiting for some unsuspecting herb to hit on them by first, purchasing them an overpriced drink. To all of those women who choose to upgrade their drink when someone is buying, I am sorry. If you drink Smirnoff, don't switch up to Grey Goose on my dime, your drink costs $4, Goose costs $7! To all of you who felt offended that I suggested that purchasing a drink for a woman at the club is a prerequisite for conversation, therefore implying that you are a solicitor of discourse I am sorry.

Actually, no I'm not, I'm tired of all of these so-called rules and traditions. I'm tired of people wanting it both ways, expecting some one to move mountains for you, when you are barely worth moving out of the way for in traffic. I'm tired of broke ass women and trifling niggas, stuck-up chicks and frontin' behind negroes. I’m just tired yall.

I was told if I didn’t have anything positive to say or just had to make up things, don’t post anything at all. Maybe people don’t get it, I write from experience mostly, so if something happens that I feel some type of way about, I will put it out there for all to read. So here we go, I’m taking requests for something that you guys think I’ve missed or you may want to know my feelings on. For the next couple of days or weeks, depending on how many requests there are, I’ll sprinkle those in.

As a matter of fact, I'll be at Happy Hour tonight and I know conversation with me is worth a few shots

Read More

Single Ladies Clap Your Hands!

"Now I don't want anybody, to get the wrong idea about me

I have nothing to hide, I want the world to see"

 

You weren't ready for Larry Blackmon this morning! But once you got a taste of it, you were probably waiting for the chorus so you could do "the snake" or "the worm", because you are so 1985! We'll get back to that later…

I've been single for a little more than two months now and with the exception of one or two nights where I've had a bout or two with loneliness, I'm doing good, it's a temporary emotion, goes away easily. Those of you who know me or think you know me pretty well probably think I'm just out of control right now. Truth is, there's no pole in my living room, I'm not wildin' out like I used to (I don't do the things I used to no more) mostly. I'm still likely to pop up anywhere you may be, with the exception of Deltas or a club, but most nights I'm home with my cats watching movies.

I'll probably keep it this way for a while, mostly because this whole dating thing perplexes me, primarily the first date. Like usual, women put way too many stipulations on things. So, what's the ideal first date? I hear that dinner and a movie isn't good for a first date. Since when? You can talk during dinner, in the car or walk to the theatre and afterwards. If the two of you enjoy Al Pacino movies, why isn't that a good look for the first date? You have your conversation piece and an entertainment element for your date, plus added conversation after the film. I guess cooking him or her dinner is out of the question too?

Ok, let's go back to the beginning, who pays for the date? It's a first date, do we go dutch or submit to societal norms and as a man I pay? Does the person who initiates the date pay? How does this work? We're kicking it via phone, text, e-mail or at the bar for a while and decide to hang out on an official date, do I pick up every check for the night? Ok, the dates over and you two had a great time. He was interesting, she was funny. She told you about her ex-boyfriends, he didn't talk with his mouth full, she has a great career ahead of her and you have a job. What happens next? After a great first date, is a kiss out of the realm of possibility, is that too much? Do I have to wait until the 3^rd or 4^th date to bust a slob? So I suppose sex on the first date is just whorish! C'mon people! We're adults and we make adult decisions and if we had a great time and the spirit moves you, give a nigga a peck. What you gonna do, give him a hug and a pound?

You know what else gets me? I play the bars (like you really didn't know that), me & boys we sit down and buy rounds for one another, buy shots, and we get it in. Yet, if I see a nice looking female across the bar and I have a slight interest, I need to send her a drink as an introduction? Please! How about I go over to introduce myself, see what her conversation is like, if I could really dig on her and if there is a mutual vibe, then we have a round or two with each other? I have to get you a few drinks just talk to you, so now you're the Liquor Whore?

That's not what's up. I buy her a drink and then go talk to her and she says something like "I likeded that song you played on the jukebox." Or, "You like scrimp, cuz I likes me some scrimp!" Here I am, just spent $5 or $6 dollars on the bad grammar girl! I know someone is looking at the screen like, "Is he tripping on $5 or $6?" Damn skippy! That's two more drinks for me at Happy Hour. I know you brought $10 to the bar to buy your first drink or two and then you're waiting for guys to buy your conversation and maybe a fake phone number. Its 2008, I thought you were I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T!

Read More

Mama Said As Mama Sighed

I was kindly reminded that it is now April and Women’s History Month has come and gone and I didn’t post the promised blog about my mom and grandmothers (Thanks Sonya!). Here goes…

I was raised by three women, three very strong women, and three very strong, different women. Not to say that my dad wasn’t around (that’s another e-mail if he’s cool with that), but they handled the day-to-day duties of raising me from a boy to a man. My mother had me at 14, so I was essentially raised as my grandmother’s fifth child, my aunt Danielle is only 5 years older than me. In fact, I called my mother Tracey for the first few years and call my grandmother mommy until this day. Later on, the distinction between the two became “Ma” for my mother and my grandmother remained “Mommy”.

My great-grandmother was the head of the family. She was the spiritual lead of our clan, the matriarch. Everything began and ended at her house. Sunday dinner, Bible study, holidays, birthdays, cookouts, Uno, fried fish on Friday. She took the entire family to church, made sure we were all there for Sunday School. My grandmother was the fire of the family. She would tell you what was on her mind at a second’s notice. She was a single mom, raising five kids, working a job or two, collecting welfare; she was hustling to make sure we were straight. She always pushed us to be our best, don’t take nothing from anyone and to look our best at all times.

My mother is a combination of the two, she’s religious, spiritual, fiery, supportive and beautiful. She’s raised two children, who I must say have turned out okay and made a way for herself in the world. It wasn’t always easy, not just because she was a teenage mom, but the cards we were dealt weren’t always the best to play against life. Yet, she mastered computer software, climbed corporate ladders and put her children in a better position to take on the world. Isn’t that what parenting is supposed to be about?

Coming up, I don’t recall ever wanting for anything and not getting it. My mother and grandmothers made sure I had what I wanted, my aunts made sure I got to where I needed to be, my grandfather built a pool and cooked ribs. I lived with my grandmother until I was 12 and never really had a bedtime. We would watch basketball and baseball all night long, mixed in with movies. Danielle, do you remember when Mommy used to pick us up from school on Friday; we’d go get subs and then go to Easy Video?

My mother is the most supportive person in the world. Anything that my sister and I have been involved in she’s been right there. Sports, academics, theatre, shoot, my friends and I started throwing parties and she was right there on the dance floor. Our relationship has been a bit strained over the last few years and that’s on my selfishness, but every day I know how much she loves me and I know she sees how much I appreciate all she’s done for me. All she has ever asked of me is that I do my best at whatever I do and I know there have been moments when I may have disappointed her, but she’s never shown it. In fact, she just pushes me harder. I like to think we do a good job of keeping her proud.

The three women who’ve influenced my life the most have pushed everyone in my family to be better. That’s what we do; we pull the best out of each other. We don’t have a large family, but we have a strong family, built upon the foundation my great-grandmother set, my grandmother built upon and my mother perfected.

Read More

The Rainy Friday Edition

What a way to end the week, the 40th Anniversary of Dr. King's Assassination and we've got rain and craziness abound.

So, let's play catch-up…

Ocean’s 9

Nine third-graders plotted to subdue, handcuff and then cut their teacher. Times tables is a mug! The plot was simple, revenge. The teacher put a student in time out for standing on a chair last week and that apparently was unacceptable for the young lady, so she got with her cohorts and hatched a plan that was damn near genius! Each of the nine had a specific role to play and items to bring in to complete their task. The police confiscated a steak knife, paperweight, and handcuffs. Turns out, they were supposed to knock her out with the paperweight, cuff her and then stab her. One student was to cover the windows, another keep look out, just crazy. Three of the kids have been arrested; three suspended for the remainder of the year and others also faced suspension. I know they were White, not just because of the planning either, because a Black kid is not involving that many people on what they planned to do. Also, another kid in the class found out what was going on and told. Stop snitching!



Crack is Wack

Bobby Brown, in his soon to be released book, “Bobby Brown: The Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing But” alleges that ex-wife Whitney Houston got him addicted to crack! Bobby goes on to claim that weed was his drug of choice, but he dabbled in powder cocaine, heroin, and all sorts of drugs, but it was Whitney got him smoking rocks, like he wasn’t on his way there already!

Check out this article with excerpts

Jay-Z & Beyonce to Jump the Broom?

It seemed like an April Fool’s joke, but it just may be real. Apparently Jay-Z and Beyonce took out a marriage license in Scarsdale, New York earlier this week and have 60 days to marry. The timing made it seem like a hoax, but People.com has sources reporting the two looking very happy as they completed the paperwork and also reports that Jay-Z had a bachelor party in Toronto Wednesday night. Perezhilton.com is reporting that they will marry today, so I guess people are going to be blued to the web and radio to figure if it all goes down. All I could think was damn “wait ‘til I get my money right”. I hope it’s real, because it is about time, they’ve had the longest courtship since Eddie’s father. Well, it seems they will have an additional $150 million to add to the millions they possess now…

He’s Not a Businessman, He’s a Business Man!

Following a trend started by Madonna and U2, Jay-Z signed a deal with concert goliath Live Nation. The deal, reported at $150 million, gives Jay-Z the finances to develop his own entertainment label, funds him for recording and touring and all of his endorsement deals. He received something like $60 million in cash just to sign S. Carter. Somewhere Dame Dash is crying himself into a power nap!

The Superfreak Lives On!

There’s rumors of a sex tape featuring Rick James floating around the internet to be sold on EBay. But check this, there’s also footage of Rick smoking a joint in the studio while he was recording his final songs. This is not 1982 Rick James, this is 2004 Rick James. I’m as big of a Rick James fan as there can be, but I’m not sure I want to see fat, high Rick James making it Mo’ Better!

Hillary in Technicolor

This woman is going to extremes for votes! While in Pennsylvania earlier this week, Hillary Clinton not only claimed that Barack Obama wanted to deny the people a voice by saying he’s ready for the race to end, but she compared herself to Rocky! "Let me tell you something, when it comes to finishing a fight, Rocky and I have a lot in common. I never quit. I never give up. And neither do the American people," Clinton said.

Hillary! Rocky is a fictional character in a movie, now you’re trying too hard! That’s like me saying I have a lot in common with John McClain, I die hard! Who’s writing this crap for her? Is she so far removed from the people that she has to use these references to try to stay afloat? Fight on the issues and we’ll decide who we want to represent us.

Read More

I May Not Get There With You....

I couldn't let today go past and not do this...

Today marks the 40th anniversary of Martin Luther King’s assassination, which offers the question, just where have we as Black Americans and America gone since that fateful afternoon in Memphis? Sometimes it things that things are different, but still the same in this place we call home. Almost as if Dr. King's fight was for naught.

There have been steps toward progression over the years, but there has been increased regression as well. On Dr. King's birthday, I usually borrow a line from Langston Hughes’ “A Dream Deferred” and make reference to just how Dr. King’s vision of collective unity has been lost in favor of individualist gain or a wayward society.

The “I Have a Dream Speech’ may be his most famous and iconic speech, but the night before his death, Dr. King delivered what has been dubbed “The I’ve Been to the Mountaintop Speech”, where he tells the audience “…I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land!”

Since Dr. King’s death that next afternoon, many have attempted to carry the torch he held so high, but none have even gotten close to the standard of selflessness that he set. He literally and figuratively gave his life for the greater good. Rev. Jesse Jackson, Rev. Al Sharpton and The Honorable Min. Louis Farrakhan have all made strides in pockets, but none has had the nationalistic appeal of Dr. King. Each of the previously named men have been flawed in their methods, not to say that Dr. King didn’t have flaws, but the way he galvanized a nation of millions has been beyond compare.

No one man or woman is ever going to be able to carry the weight that he did. It sort of reminds me another man they say lived 30 some odd years, worked tirelessly and selflessly for the improvement of those he lived amongst. Another man had gone too soon (not John Lennon). Dr. King may have been the reincarnate version that people have been praying and waiting for.
The challenge for us all is to be keepers of “The Dream”, carve out a place where we can work to be a voice for the people who don’t have a voice. Barack Obama, keeper of “The Dream”. Oprah Winfrey, keeper of “The Dream” and there are countless others, but more of US need to stand in and provide “The Dream” to those who don’t have the resources or tools to pull themselves up immediately.

In his new book, “April 4, 1968”, Dr. Michael Eric Dyson explores Dr. King’s internal (and external) war with his imminent death. He analyzes how Dr. King seemingly knew death was always around the corner, but continued to press on, because the cause was much greater than him. This week CNN has been running news reports relating to recently uncovered FBI files detailing J. Edgar Hoover’s disdain for Dr. King and the FBI’s surveillance to prove that he was a communist. There was no evidence of communism, but they were able to prove that he maintained extra-marital affairs and that he had gotten increasingly radical and was planning The Poor People’s Campaign to shine a light on a segment of America that is still largely overlooked, it’s poor. They found that privately, this man fought with his fame, was weary of the death threats and wished he could just go “preach in his little church”.

Do this for yourself, the next time that you’re in Atlanta or if you are living there today, go over to The King Center and go sit in Ebenezer Baptist Church and hear one of his sermons. If it doesn’t move you to want to do better, you’re a sorry piece of s…my mama is reading this, but you get the hint.

I purchased a book from Barnes & Noble last Saturday night and the total of my purchase came to $22.36. I handed the cashier two $20 bills and was returned a three $5 bills, two singles and a gang of change. Then it came to me, what if there was a $25 bill? That would make things so much easier. They could Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on the $25 bill! I’d rather have that than the 3rd Monday of January off! It would constantly be in everyone’s conscious. Many great Presidents and contributors have been immortalized through currency, why not Dr. King? Hell, Benjamin Franklin is on the $100 bill! What did he do? Electricity? Some nigga on the plantation would’ve done that, without flying a damn kite though! I’m starting a petition to get Martin Luther King Jr. on the $25 bill!

Take a moment to read or watch a portion of this speech, really read and truly listen, then ask yourself, what can you do for the rest of the day, the rest of the weekend, the rest of your life to help get us to the Promised Land (and that’s not Cleveland)?



Full text of speech

Read More

If You Think She’s Lonely Now…

Don't mess around and find my number in your girlfriend's cell!


Spring is here, warm weather is around the corner, 'tis the season for relationships to hit the bricks. I hear all the time how I am just too hard on women, I'm always telling women what they need to do to keep their man happy and whatnot. Well, here it is; Fellas, time to get your thing together! When in a relationship, you must meet at least the basic needs of your woman. You know, spend time with her, tell her you love her, show her you love her, take her out, talk to her, listen to her, and buy her a couple pairs of shoes every few months. I handle the fundamental needs; communication has never been my strength.

My daddy always told me to take care of home first, I don't listen to my dad much, but that's one thing I paid attention to. Too many of us rip and run and aren’t handling business at home first. I'm saying, if your woman worked a long day, then came home and cooked your trifling behind dinner, don't pick up Wendy's before you go to the bar! You’re out running these streets with Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky & Mike (Johnny too!), leaving her home with the kids, that ain't cool.

That's when a dude such as me enters the picture. Some type of supplemental aid to fulfill one or more of those needs that you're missing the mark on. Time is spent away from the crib and you're wondering just where she is, can't be with her girlfriends that much can she? Truth is she's on Broadway with me, watching Terrence Howard and James Earl Jones because you wouldn't take her to see the new Tyler Perry movie!

What I am saying fella is this, if you're gonna run these streets; make sure your lady has no reason to do the same. Take her to a couple of those basketball games you're going to, take her to see Jill Scott, cook her dinner, cuddle on the couch and watch "The Best Man" with her…or I will. Too many of us are damaging women and leaving the next guy to play The Average White Band Band, you know picking up the pieces.

Read More